The search for the truly ‘Perfect Pond’ has been chased by the world Aquatic Industry for many years. The financial rewards at the end of the rainbow are far more than one single pot of gold if fish keeping perfection can be actually achieved.
As far as I know the hobby worldwide is even greater than angling unless I have made an error, one thing is certain – it is an enormous pastime compared to most.
I do know exactly what is required and maybe I even have the answer – except for one small thing that still ‘nags’ and eludes me. Perhaps some viewers of this page will be able to assist me in my quest for untold wealth and fame? Obviously I will bear any input in consideration for financial reward immediately after I have purchased necessary items such as Ireland and a new pair of shoes.
Here then is my design so far.
This is my ultimate stroke of pure genius and, please remember, where you first saw this. I have improved upon ‘Old-Hat Mother Nature’ with my natural genius by installing a bottom drain to the deepest part of any watertight hole in the ground and connecting it to a sufficient bore of drainage tube as shown above. This provides a perfect overflow and that’s all that is required for the complete installation.
No water pumps; no air pumps; no air diffusers; no filter boxes; no buildings to accommodate filter boxes; no covers for filter boxes, no tightly-packed or dancing filter media; no U/V units; no heaters; no pipe work; no fittings; no valves; no water purifiers; no water test kits; no clays – I think that’s about it?
In short, the total demise of ‘The Koi Dry Goods Industry’.
With one lone exception, namely Jason at JBR Plastics who will form a plc and manufacture bottom drains in all shapes and sizes plus he will make them in all possible base materials from greaseproof paper to solid platinum with production plants all around the world as well as a centralised Head Office complex in Rainford.
After two years he will purchase Microsoft outright for cash, Bill Gates will become a recluse and Jason a heavy user of illegal substances. The pictures of scantily clad ladies that previously adorned his office walls by way of large colour posters will then become real-life possessions personally owned by him and replaced as required after sell-by or use-by date has been reached. His partner Danny will have long-since departed to Lanarkshire having released his world best selling book ‘Jason Williams – the Truth behind the Legend’ which later will become a 3D Epic Film of block-busting proportions.
For my part, I will continue endlessly in my advisory capacity to promote the benefits of bottom drains to the world as International Sales Director of JBR plc with two special responsibilities.
One will be the introduction of these true wonders of cutting-edge technology to parks; public gardens; golf courses; shopping centres; stately homes; theme parks; church grounds (as seen here) and the likes.
The second will be supply and provide advance designs of similar, but more robust units, for perfect installation into the deepest beds of the oceans of the world. Thus providing crystal-clear water and much improved vision to enable the billions of conservationists the world over to finally witness for the very first time, the mating activities of the Coelacanth (Latimeria chalumnae).
1. Free of any contaminants that are harmful to fish.
2. Temperature controlled 365 day per year to give four-season ideals for Nishikigoi.
Of course, all of this is pure nonsense, as it can never be achieved in real life. However it does try to explain what ‘absolute perfection’ would be for a Koi keeper.
Now we understand what we are ‘attempting to achieve’, the next job is to find a box that is the closest to this sort of perfect performance!