THE MOST EXPENSIVE PURACHINA EVER?

(Please excuse the capitals!)

ONE AFTERNOON, I FOUND MYSELF AT THE MIYAKOYA AUCTION IN OJIYA BUYING A FEW LOTS OF KOI. AFTER THE AUCTION HAD FINISHED ‘CHOGURO’ CAME OVER TO ME AND TOLD ME HE HAD A FEW BARGAINS AND SHOULD PAY HIM A VISIT. CHOGURO IS ONLY A SHORT DISTANCE FROM MIYAKOYA AND SO I CLIMBED INTO HIS TRUCK AND OFF WE WENT. ON ARRIVAL HE SHOWED ME THE KOI HE HAD FOR SALE, GAVE ME A NET AND THEN SAID ‘PLEASE SELECT’ – SO I DID. AFTER I HAD FINISHED MY SELECTION I WENT INSIDE HIS HOUSE TO PAY FOR MY KOI AS I KNEW I HAD 6,000,000YEN (£30,000.00) IN THE INSIDE POCKET OF MY JACKET. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THE MONEY WAS NOT THERE AND PANIC SET IN! I CHECKED EVERYWHERE – IN THE HOUSE, IN THE TRUCK AND IN THE GARDENS OF CHOGURO BUT NO LUCK IN FINDING MY MONEY.

CHOGURO THEN SUGGESTED WE RETURN TO MIYAKOYA TO SEE IF I HAD LEFT IT THERE. AT THAT TIME HIS SON WAS A TAXI DRIVER SO I CLIMBED IN WITH HIM AND RETURNED TO THE AUCTION AND SEARCHED EVERYWHERE BUT HAD NO LUCK IN FINDING THE MONEY. EVENTUALLY WE RETURNED TO CHOGURO WHO HAD A BIG GRIN ON HIS FACE TO FIND HE HAD FOUND THE ENVELOPE WHICH HELD THE CASH AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POND I WAS SELECTING FROM AND TOLD ME THAT, BY FAR, THIS WAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE ‘KOI’ HE HAD EVER ‘CAUGHT’ IN ANY OF HIS PONDS.

THE MONEY WAS ALSO IN 10,000YEN NOTES BUT STILL ALRIGHT FOR SPENDING SO WE HAD A BEER AND A LAUGH AND THOUGHT NOTHING MORE ABOUT IT.

THE NEXT MORNING, AT MY HOTEL, I WENT TO MY BANK TO CHANGE THE NOTES INTO DRY ONES BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY COULD NOT CHANGE THEM UNTIL THEY WERE COMPLETELY DRY. I RETURNED TO MY HOTEL AND WENT TO SEE THE MANAGER, MR. ONOZUKA TO SEE IF HE COULD ASSIST. HE JUST SMILED AND SAID ‘NO PROBLEM SIR’ AND STARTED LAYING THE NOTES OUT NEATLY ON THE POLISHED STONE COUNTER THAT WAS THE FRONT DESK AND I WOULD ESTIMATE THAT THIS WAS SOME 30 FEET LONG AND SOME 3 FEET WIDE.

AFTER ALL THE NOTES HAD BEEN LAID OUT SOME LADIES CAME FROM THE HOTEL’S LAUNDRY DEPARTMENT WITH BEDSHEETS AND IRONS, THEY CAREFULLY COVERED THE NOTES WITH THE BEDSHEETS AND THEN PROCEEDED TO DRY THEM WITH THEIR IRONS. THE ENTIRE PROCESS WAS COMPLETED IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES – AFTER THAT MR. ONOZUKA CALLED ONE OF HIS ACCOUNTS STAFF TO COUNT THE MONEY.

SOME MINUTES LATER THE MONEY WAS RETURNED TO ME AND THE CLERK SAID TO ME ‘EXACTLY 6,000,000YEN MR. PETER’! WHAT A SERVICE THAT WAS – THE NOTES WERE PERFECT FOR SPENDING – I DID NOT HAVE TO CHANGE THEM AT THE BANK!

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